The diaries of my life..

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I started writing a diary when i was 7 years old.  I still have it and love to read back through it from time to time to see what my child mind thought of everything that my now adult mind KNOWS what was going on back then.  Now I keep a diary for memory purposes, If anything were to happen to me, I would want my girls to be able to read all about their mommy and what I was like.  If nothing happens to me I want to be able to give it to my girls some day , when they need to understand situations or things that they’re going through.  

Now , I don’t plan on letting them see it AT ALL until their 25 at least.. I need them to be at a point in their lives when they can sympathize with my past and the sometimes provacative words that are written on those pages.  I admit I got a little a carried away a few times whether it be bashing my mom, or bashing the father of my kids but hey, Thats what my diary is for.

I like to keep track of all kinds of things in my diaries including and not limited to , Dates, Locations that i lived, Things that i bought, People i’ve dated or had sex with, Big life changing moments , childbirth, Weather ..And last but certainly not least Family 🙂

When i was about 18 and under I mostly wrote about my mother and everything I despised about her (being in my crazy hormonal evil teenager part of life ) By time i was 16 I had a “guy journal” I kept track of every guy i’ve even kissed , let alone had sex with – Hey sounds crazy but its helpful to look back and remember who was in my face ! Haha.  The guy journal has since turned into more ALL ABOUT my kids dad journal (I don’t think he know’s I write about him like i do haha he pretty much has a book 🙂  When my first daughter was born in ’08 I started a journal for her, Explaining to her what she’s doing, what milestones she’s passing , cute sayings and things that im sure i won’t be able to tell her when she’s got her own kids.  And I keep 2 journals for every day life , random vent session type books.  

Something about the thought of not being able to help or tell my girls How I made it through all the struggles I made it through keeps me writing.  I have to get the urge to actually sit down and put pen to paper, as typing is so damn easy!  But when I do i usually update everything I can possibly pull out of my memory bank.  

And It’s always fun to have a moment when I sit down and read back through from 6 mos or further to see what I thought I’d be doing today .. I’m never right, Never know what the future holds though i look forward to being OLD .. with grand kids.. Being young and working hard is NO FUN haha..but I plan to be successful to the point where i can help my grandbabies. 

And some day .. my great great great great grandkids will be amazed to read through my Diaries from 1998-2013 it even sounds like a long time ago LOL ! 

 

From my thoughts to my fingertips *Tshawn

 

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