Aside

Letting Go of what’s come to past

It’s amazing the anxiety that’s felt from being cheated on in the past and having to deal with the intuition of a broken heart that’s been mended by the same person.  I used to worry anytime he took his phone out, millions of questions would fly through my head, none of which I’d take liberty in actually asking leading him to believe that I’m not insecure or worried about what he does in his own personal time.  I had to let go of this thought process, I had to make a choice, to trust or not to trust, I chose to trust–Again.

One thing i’ve learned about being in a long term relationship is that you have to accept the good with the bad.  If there is no trust, you have nothing.  You either trust them not to betray you or you don’t.  And if you don’t , then you need to walk away, If they love you they will follow and not give up.  Negativity can easily be spoken into the picture if you let it be seen, but if there is nothing to truly be negative about and only so many things to be grateful and humble for then your going to have relationship problems.

It’s important that you trust your man/woman and believe that they trust and love you.  Once they betray your trust is when you can go through the hell of worrying and being suspicious, not to mention hurt.  Until that time, why stress?  For awhile my SO and I have had communication issues, and by communication issues I mean when it came to the things we really needed to talk about we just wouldn’t.  Once I would bring up a concern it would turn into an argument.  But we are growing and learning how to respond and communicate with each other and I can finally say we have learned how to express and communicate without harsh words or offensive language.

I am a strong believer in putting your foot DOWN.  If your man/Woman seems to be acting like they can walk all over you and treat you any old way , and hide things from you or whatever the wrongdoing is than its time to put the foot down.  Flip out if you need to, It will only show them how serious and invested in the relationship you really are.  It will let them know that your only human and can only be pushed so far.  It will help them sit back and review their own actions to try and figure out what’s wrong with YOU.  Your SO needs to be able to understand you and how you operate.  And you should always be able to voice your concerns in your relationship and your SO should be understanding and try to fix and compromise with you and what you have going on.

Long term relationships can only last if there is a strong will to survive all odds and believe in each other.  Both parties have to want to be together more than they want to drink a glass of water.  They have to prove it to each other over and over again.  It’s important that there is compromise, Trust, Loyalty, Perseverance, Communication and Respect.  Once you’ve been in  a relationship for long enough sex isn’t even that big of a deal, but when it does go down, IT GOES DOWN! Because of the love that you have for each other it’s an amazing experience.  But a long term relationship has to go through hell and back, through hard times, through rough patches and only then can it benefit and experience joy and laughter, happiness…It won’t pay off if you just break up with every man or woman who isn’t your perfect Idea of what you deserve.

People think that divorce is OK, and that it’s alright to break your marriage vows and I can understand marrying someone who completely changes but why not spend 7 to 10 maybe even 15 years before you marry someone that you don’t really know?  I’ve always said “If you haven’t seen her go through pregnancy and childbirth, Drunk, or Broke then you don’t know her ” Same goes with men.  Love is not all there is to a relationship and It’s important that you don’t rush into something that could easily fall apart because you didn’t take the time to build a good foundation.

My relationship is NOWHERE near perfect not even close, but I have learned A LOT after being with this man for almost 8 years.  I had to teach myself I had to change the things I wanted to change about myself that I knew would benefit him in the long run and as did he changing things about himself to benefit US in the long run.  I can’t tell the future and we’re not married yet but from the person I knew when I was 20 yrs old and fresh out of highschool to now, I’ve seen change in the right direction and progress is all it takes to keep a relationship or ANYTHING pushing forward.

Thank you for reading ..

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